He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize