Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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