her vagine was all disorganized.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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