batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
being pregnant is like rehab
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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