I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
