Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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