More tranny stories later!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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