Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
