Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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