you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize