im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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