The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
