Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
