If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
