I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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