So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
