i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
