I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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