omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
