Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
