how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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