So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
be right there i have to get my cape
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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