Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
