So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize