You're completely useless in the revolution.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
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You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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