Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
