i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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