erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
