dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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