You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
