this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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