You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
