He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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