i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
