im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
