I think I won the penis lottery.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
