she was so not down for the gang bang
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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