batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
