Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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