honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
