I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
