Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i barfeds in our rink
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
