so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize