while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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