xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
