The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
