Is it because I queefed?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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