plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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