theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my liver is dry heaving
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
