That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
