The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
