his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize