Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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