Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
