But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
