THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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