since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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