Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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