It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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