Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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