im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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