No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
false alarm, still single
Randomize