Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i dont even know how to be here
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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